Our children are our little angels. And each angel we receive comes with his or her own set of challenges. I love these thoughts from Brittney on how her love for her "angels" grows stronger with each passing day.
We have a child that is teething and another that has become afraid of the dark.
Mopped floors don’t make it through the day, and couch cushions become houses and trampolines.
Our kids love gravel, dirt and dancing.
Any burdens or frustrations melt away when a child with a ruined hair do gives us a hug with sticky fingers and says “I love you Mom.”
We live for those little moments during the day when chaos stands still and warmth of love fills our hearts.
We have unique challenges in our home: I usually wake up to the sound of Jay in the bedroom. My first thought is, “Is he awake as well? I checked him at 3:00 AM, but is he still ok?” I am always relieved when I find him sitting in his bed, tickling his nose with a corner of his Bear Blankie.
Our three year old daughter, “Me-me”, has Type 1 Diabetes. A quick explanation: Type 1 is thought to be caused by the immune system attacking and killing the beta cells in the pancreas. The beta cells no longer produce insulin that is needed to convert sugar and other food into energy. At the age of 20 months, Me-me developed this condition and she can no longer produce insulin for herself.
And so as my day starts, I check Me-me’s blood sugar. If it is low I quickly make oatmeal for breakfast to bring it back to normal. If it is high, then eggs are on the menu to keep it from spiking any higher. We count carbs and calculate how much insulin we need to give her through the blessing of an insulin pump. The pump replaces the need of having to give shots six to eight times a day. Instead, every three days the inset site for the pump needs to be changed to prevent infection. Me-me dreads her inset being changed and fights it like a cat in water. I struggle to hold her down, and wait for that brief moment when she is still enough to release the needle that places the tiny tube under her skin.
The rest of the day is spent playing, chasing the dog, building forts with sheets, cleaning, grocery shopping, all the while battling the roller coaster of high and low blood sugars.
Here are common conversations with Me-me when it comes to snacks and meals:
“You want crackers? No, your blood sugar is high, you can’t have crackers. But you can have a cheese stick. No cheese stick? Ok, how about some nuts? No? Well that is all you can have.” (After which a tantrum then ensues)
“Your blood sugar is 45, you can have this banana (and ice cream and candy or whatever she want as long as it gets her sugar up before she passes out), but you have to eat this peanut butter spoon first so you don’t come up to fast.”
“Me-me are you ok? Are you low? You are? Ok, let’s check you. Nope, you are high, were you trying to get some candy?”
“Me-me, don’t eat just the jelly side of the sandwich! You need to eat the peanut butter too.”
“Will you please eat some of your chicken and not just the pasta? Me-me, the chicken is protein and you need it to keep your blood sugar more level.”
“You are drinking a lot of water, are you high?”
“How come you are just lying on the floor? Are you low?”
“Me-me, your hands are shaking. Do you feel low?”
“You have to go to the bathroom again? You just went five minutes ago. You must be high.”
By the end of the day I am exhausted and often frustrated that I can’t seem to keep her blood sugar level. I look forward to when they go to bed so I can have time to myself to catch up on the messy house.
I recall an evening with a guest when Me-me was being overly stubborn and a bit whiny like any child can. This person said to her teasingly, “Do we need to take you into town and trade you with another family?” I fondly said, “They would be getting the better deal.”
To which the reply was, “Not with the diabetes.” The comment portrayed Me-me as a child that is less desirable because she has diabetes. It is true that she requires more care and significant medical expenses. No insult was intended, and Me-me is still too young to follow these conversations, so the evening moved on. But is she really the bad end of a trade, the bum end of the stick?
Let me explain why there will be no trading in this family. We are bonded together by love. Even though the day is filled with commotion, we are still totally in love with each other.
We might have a day or a spell of days that we are frustrated and tired of the same routine, but there are the little moments that purge all the difficulties with love. Those special moments of: dancing with the kids and daddy in the kitchen to How To Train Your Dragon soundtrack (Me-me’s very favorite); the excitement on her face because she got to ride in the bed of the pickup while pulling a pipe wagon in the field; the joy of going down the long slide at the park; and giggles of happiness while being tickled.
But the memory that helps shake off ANY frustrations is from a day I was particularly frustrated, achy, and tired. The kids were trying my patience and so I left the room to calm down. I laid down on our bed and after several minutes Me-me came in the room, climbed up on the bed, and snuggled in next to me. The light from the window made her little face glow and a few particles of dust danced in the sunlight above her. Me-me then put her hand on my cheek and said, “Mommy, I love you.” My heart melted and she then became my “diabetic angel.”
Many moms have “normal” and “healthy” angels. But there are many of us who mother diabetic, down-syndrome, cerebral palsy, cancer, autistic, asthmatic, deaf, blind, and the many other ailments.
We must remember two things:
One, that despite the unique difficulties with any child, whether extreme or not, those children are special gifts. Gifts sent from above to teach us the virtues needed to be better people.
And two, with each passing day that is filled with service for our little angels, the bond of love can only grow stronger.
Thank you so much, Brittney, for sharing with us. Your sweet children are so blessed to have you as their mother. I think a dance party with my children is definitely going on the agenda today!
Thank you so much, Brittney, for sharing with us. Your sweet children are so blessed to have you as their mother. I think a dance party with my children is definitely going on the agenda today!