"When I have a child she will never. . ."
Haven't we all said that at one time or another? It's probably the worst way in the world to start a sentence because you can pretty much bet that if you say you will never have a child who. . . . YOU WILL.
Haven't we all said that at one time or another? It's probably the worst way in the world to start a sentence because you can pretty much bet that if you say you will never have a child who. . . . YOU WILL.
One thing I have always said, to myself of course, is that I will never have a child so attached to me that if she isn't wrapped around my waist she's screaming her head off.
Shhhhhhh. . . if you listen really closely you can hear someone up there in charge of karma laughing his head off.
Because I have the cutest new accessory. Everyone needs one. It's all the rage now in fashion.
It is my 18 month old, blonde haired, blue eyed, chubby legged little monster.
5 Sure Signs That You Have a New Accessory, Too
- When you go to the bathroom, your baby is sitting on your lap or has been left screaming at the door.
2. When you're cooking dinner, you have 2 extra hands and legs and eyes... and trust me, these extra body parts are not helpful in anyway.
3.When you walk down stairs or up stairs, you get a nice workout because you are packing a little extra weight on your hip. This is either beneficial because you are building muscle or negative because by the time you reach the top of the stairs you are sweating and can hardly breathe.
- When big brother or big sister try to sit on your lap and get some mommy attention, your accessory makes a beeline for you and is sure to throw a fit until she is wrapped securely around your waist again.
- When daddy or auntie or the cute lady at church stretches out her arms to take your accessory she starts flailing around like a bird in an alligator's mouth about to become dinner.
Any of this sound familiar?
But don't you worry I have come up with some ways to make your new accessory work for you...
1. Always keep a package of fruit chews handy, perhaps tucked in your bra is a great spot. Whip them out (the fruit chews of course) in the bathroom, at dinner preparation time, or when the stranger tries to talk to your chubby legged belt.
2. Add a pretty colored flower to your accessory that matches your outfit.
3. Don't put shoes on your baby belt. Shoes will only get in the way and cause pain and possible bruises.
4. Instead of shoes, try painting the toes a color that matches.
5. Remind yourself that despite the constant achy back and sore legs from carrying your accessory around all the time, you are getting some sweet baby-weight lifting buff arms. Look at them in the mirror when you're feeling down.
Okay, so now on to confession time. Have you ever said, "I'll never _______" when it comes to parenting? And are you eating your words? Tell us and make me feel a little better!
